Meredith's Birth Story

This is long, but I thought I would share it here.  I didn’t actually write it all out until Meredith was two months old so I wasn’t positive about some parts of it. Luckily, my doula wrote down a lot of it for me so I had some idea of a timeline. It’s insanely long, sorry. I wanted to get all the details down more for myself than anything. Also, my tenses aren’t consistent; my grammar is normally better.

My blood pressure had sky rocketed in the week before birth, and I had been put on modified bed rest (which I didn’t do very well, considering we were in the process of moving). I went to acupuncture to try to bring it down, and my midwives knew how badly I wanted a home birth and so avoided sending me to a doctor even at a point when they maybe should have. I was feeling great and my blood showed no signs of pretoxemia. The acupuncture helped and my bp managed to drop to more normal levels again on August 1.

Labour began on my due date, August 3, around 10:30 at night, less than a minute after having sex. At the time I didn’t believe the contractions would actually amount to anything. All the women in my family ended up giving birth weeks late or having c-sections, so I was preparing myself for a bit of a wait. I hadn’t seen a mucus plug or bloody show. I didn’t time the contractions at this point, and fell asleep about 45 minutes later.

About 1:30 in the morning I woke up and realized I was still contracting. I checked the clock and started timing them. They were pretty regular, about 7-8 minutes apart. They weren’t what I was expecting, to me they didn’t feel like period cramps at all. I didn’t find them painful, but they were definitely noticeable. Kris woke up and we decided to call our doula, Heather. I let her know I thought labour may have started and she advised us both to take Gravol so we would sleep. She assured me it wouldn’t hurt the baby and would be out of my system before the baby was born. We took Gravol and both fell back to sleep. I woke up about 5 in the morning again to another contraction. It seemed to be taking forever between contractions and I told Kris I thought labour had stopped, but when I checked the clock they were still every 6-8 minutes, so it must have just seemed like forever. I went back to sleep for a few more hours.

We had told a friend of ours we would drive her to the airport that morning, but since I was in labour Kris went to go get her early so she could hang out at our house in case my labour started progressing really quickly. Our house is closer to the airport if she needed to catch a cab. It was good she came over though. We had just moved 4 days previous to this and there were boxes and furniture everywhere, so she helped Kris set up the futon bed downstairs with a plastic sheet and make room for the birthing pool Heather would bring later. At this point the contractions still weren’t painful or difficult at all. When we drove her to the airport my friend asked if I’d even had any contractions while she was there, and was surprised when I told her they were 4-5 minutes apart.

We kept in touch with Heather throughout the day, and I also called the midwife on call, Valerie, and let her know I thought I might be in labour. She said normally she would recommend walking to help it progress, but because I’d been having blood pressure problems she thought it would be better if I took it easy still. She didn’t want me to end up in the hospital for the birth after everything I’d done to try and keep my bp low. I wasn’t sure it would really make any difference, but I was okay just relaxing anyway so I did.

Around 2 or 3 in the afternoon the contractions became a bit harder to talk through. They still weren’t too bad and I wasn’t convinced I was really in labour. I expected them to stop any minute still. I suggested maybe we should both take Gravol and try to sleep some more, but thought if it was real the baby would come pretty quickly and so we didn’t. I also was really iffy about taking anything at all, including Gravol, so wanted to avoid it if possible.  Around 10:15pm Kris called Heather and told her we thought she should come soon. The contractions were more regular and about every 2-4 minutes, but still not very painful. I had to breathe through them but otherwise they weren’t bad. She told us she would be about an hour but to call her if we thought she should get here sooner. She got here around 11:15 and I made a joke of some sort. She told me I sounded much too happy to be a woman in labour.

The house was really warm and it was a beautiful night, so Heather suggested we go for a walk. She took our dog and walked quite a way behind us and told me and Kris to just relax, go slow, and pretend she wasn’t there. As we walked I could feel the contractions getting stronger and closer together. Kris and I would stop and sway together each time. Heather told me sometime around then is when I probably went into active labour.

Back at the house, I started rocking on the birthing ball. I was still laughing and joking with Heather and Kris and felt pretty good, though a bit tired. Around 1am I tried to lie down cuddling with Kris for a bit. I found the contractions really hard to handle lying down though. No wonder women in hospitals all get epidurals! I tried to rest as much as I could between contractions, and during contractions I had to sit up. Around this time I took the clock down in that room and made up my mind not to go into our kitchen (where there is another clock). I’m really glad I did that. After this any times I write are from Heather, as I had no clue what time it was anymore.

About 2 I was having more trouble with the contractions, and finding them quite painful. Heather filled up the birthing pool and I got in. It was instant relief. We were back to Heather having to ask me to tell her when contractions started and ended because she couldn’t tell anymore just by my reactions. She timed a few of them to make sure the water hadn’t stalled anything. Kris was offering me sips of water and 7-Up after every contraction and Heather was pouring water over my shoulders. At 2:45 I had to go to the bathroom so I got out of the water. Kris got me a popsicle to suck on but I didn’t eat much of it. Heather had me walk up and down the stairs a few times to try and help the baby descend. I got back in the pool, and the contractions were longer and stronger now. Heather called the midwife to let her know she should probably come anytime.

Valerie got here around 4am. She set up all her gear while we all chat, though mostly I listened and didn’t do much talking. She checked the baby’s heartbeat and it was strong and steady. She asked if my water had broken (I never got GBS tested), but I had no idea because of being in the pool. I got out of the pool to pee again and Valerie asked if I want to be checked. I agreed. I found that to be extremely painful.  At that point I was 6 cm dilated.

Heather told me the baby was posterior and still needed to rotate. Valerie and Heather encouraged me to try and relax as much as possible between and throughout contractions. We walked up and down the stairs again and then I got back into the pool. Heather asked me to stick my bum up during contractions, but I found this really hard and painful. I was having more trouble with the contractions at this point, and finding it harder to relax during them.

About 5am I started finding the contractions really hard. I was very tired and I looked at Kris and told him I wasn’t sure I could do it. The thought of going to the hospital for pain relief never crossed my mind, I just wanted to lie down and sleep for even twenty minutes. Heather and Valerie were great and kept telling me I was doing wonderfully and that I could do it. I felt like I wasn’t getting much of a break between contractions. At this point, Heather wrote that my contractions were about 2 minutes apart and lasting over a minute each. She gave me some homeopathic meds which helped, and they gave me sips of juice and water in between every contraction. Sometime around this point I started vomiting with every contraction. I actually told them I kind of liked the puking because it took my mind off the pain of the contractions. I got out of the pool and went to sit on the toilet. Kris was with me the whole time and I would look into his eyes with every contraction and try to breathe through them. With the vomiting, V started to worry about dehydration since I wasn’t drinking much, and asked me if I would take a Gravol. I was really hesitant, but she told me it would be better for the baby than getting dehydrated. I agreed to a very low dose, and it did start to help quite quickly. The contractions were coming right on top of each other and she thought I might be in transition.

I got back in the pool, and was feeling a little better, though very tired. I noticed it was getting light outside and thought, so much for having the baby overnight. They were all trying to get me to eat some toast with peanut butter and drink more. I took tiny sips and bites, but enough to keep them all happy. Valerie asked if I felt pressure, as she said my moans sound a bit “pushy”. I tell her a small amount, though once I actually felt real pushy contractions I realized what I’d felt at that point was nothing. Valerie checked me again. I didn’t ask what I was at, but found out later I was still 6-7 cm. The head was low but still hadn’t descended enough. Valerie asked if I want her to break my water, but I decided not to. The baby still hadn’t turned.

They asked me if I want to go upstairs to the shower. I told them I would if we could bring the birthing ball in there too, which we did. I sat in the shower for a while, which was really nice, but then Valerie or Heather told me I should try some different positions to try and get baby to turn and descend. They got me to crawl on my hands and knees along my hallway. I found this extremely painful and difficult, but persisted. I started talking to the baby, telling her to descend and turn and then we could meet each other. I started feeling very strong, involuntary pushing urges. Valerie checked me and tells me unfortunately there is still a cervical lip and asks me to try my best not to push yet. I think that was the hardest part of the entire labour. Kris supported me the whole time and breathed along with me as I continued to crawl along the hallway. He held my hand through the contractions and I asked him to squeeze it hard, but he was too afraid of hurting me to squeeze as hard as I would have liked. I squeezed his hand back too (and I had no compunction about squeezing hard…).

I was exhausted, but I knew that with the pushing it would be over soon. I asked if I could sit on the toilet, and the contractions slowed way down. I was falling asleep between contractions while sitting on the toilet. Kris asked if it was normal for the contractions to slow down so much, and Valerie and Heather assured us it isn’t unheard of at the end. Valerie checked me again around 9am and I was fully dilated. At this point she did break my water, which sprayed everywhere. It felt really good to me too, like a whole lot of pressure suddenly gone. They called the back up midwife and told me I could start pushing. I pushed on the toilet for a while, holding on to Kris. He said he can’t believe how strong I am, he can barely support me, and Valerie and Heather agreed that a labouring woman has incredible strength. I loved pushing, it hurt a lot but I knew that this was the last step before meeting my baby.

The back up midwife, Michelle, got there and soon after they told me it’s time to get off the toilet and go downstairs to where everything is set up. I started crying and didn’t want to get off the toilet. They told me I needed to get up or I would have the baby on the toilet, but I really didn’t want to go down the stairs. I asked Heather if they could bring the pool upstairs. (Full of water and all!) They couldn’t do that obviously, but they did go get the rest of their birthing supplies and lay them out in my hallway. I knelt in the hallway on some of those blue pads and a towel and held on to Kris. At one point someone told me to be nice to Kris, I would need him after, but I didn’t let up on the poor guy. The baby’s head was visible with every push and Valerie let Kris see. He said it looked painful for the baby, the head was a very funny shape. They held up a mirror for me to see too, and let me touch the head. I could see lots of hair.

I gave a push and I guess her head came out, though I didn’t know it. Valerie told me to stop pushing for a minute and luckily Kris picked up on that and started puffing, and I copied him just long enough for the baby to turn a little so the shoulders could come out. Valerie started to let us know the baby’s head was out but then I gave one more push and the whole baby slipped out. It surprised her and she barely got her hands up in time to guide the baby to the floor underneath me. I couldn’t believe it was over. It was 9:44 am, August 5, about 35 hours after the first twinges started, and after being in transition for 3-4 hours (I’m told it was longer than normal because she was posterior). I had pushed for 44 minutes. She came out posterior and with her chin out, rather than tucked in.

They were telling me to pick up my baby, and I looked down and saw this little baby below me and couldn’t believe that that was my baby. But I picked her up and held her to me and she proceeded to immediately poop on me. I looked at Kris and said “We did it!” He responded that I had done it. Someone asked if it was a boy or a girl, as we hadn’t found out ahead of time. I held her out and looked and couldn’t quite connect what I was seeing with a gender, so Kris was the one who said it’s a girl. It didn’t surprise me at all, that just felt exactly right to me.

They helped us downstairs to the futon where I delivered the placenta, while holding my daughter skin-to-skin the whole time. Kris cut the cord. Soon after that she started rooting around and they showed me how to nurse her. She pretty much did all the work herself though. We snuggled and nursed for a while while they cleaned up. Eventually Michelle asked if she could weigh the baby, which would be done right next to me. I had to go pee though so Kris stayed there while I went to the bathroom. She had perfect Apgar scores and weighed 7 pounds 3 ounces and was 20.25″ long. She was alert right from birth. (We actually got comments for months afterwards about how alert she always was.) We opted out of the vitamin K and the eye goop. Eventually they left and Kris and I snuggled together with her for a while, and then Kris went to go sleep. I wasn’t really tired anymore so I stayed awake staring at her. We didn’t name her until a little later when Kris went to send off e-mails to everyone. We had had a few names picked out, but both of us agreed on the same name very easily. It was what we had both felt suited her best. We decided on Meredith.

We spent the next 2 or 3 weeks skin to skin. People kept asking us if we ever dressed her (or if I ever got dressed) or if I ever put her down. When I wrote this she was 8 weeks old and at that time we still tried to hold her skin-to-skin as much as possible and didn’t put her down. She had gained over 5 pounds in 8 weeks and about 6 cm.  One of the midwives who came to check us commented that she could always tell the babies who were held skin to skin a lot and not put down, and I hadn’t told her we did that, so obviously there must be some difference.

I am so glad we decided on a home birth and would do it again in an instant. There were times it was hard and that I was doubting myself, but I was really glad for the support from my doula. I didn’t have a birth plan, but I had discussed some of my thoughts with the midwives and the doula ahead of time and trusted that they felt as I did about birth, so I didn’t feel I needed one. If I were to change anything next time, I would opt to be checked a lot less (though I was only checked 3 or 4 times total, but I hated it each time), if at all. Also, Valerie hadn’t asked about breaking my water at the end, though it did feel really good and things started moving quickly after that, so maybe it was a good thing. I really wish I could have Heather there for the support next time, and just forego the midwife altogether. I don’t think doulas are allowed to do that though. That being said, I had a home birth not because I wanted to be a super mom, but because I felt it was the best thing for my daughter. It was a great experience and I don’t regret anything about it.

Heather told me later that because she was posterior and didn’t turn, if I had gone into the hospital I almost certainly would have had a c-section. Our hospital has one of the highest c-section rates in the country (over 40%), and there aren’t a lot of options for different positions to get baby to turn or descend. (You wouldn’t catch me crawling on a hospital floor, that’s for sure!)  I have a friend who went into the hospital wanting a natural birth and her baby was posterior. The doctor heard that and told her midwife to start preparing her for a c-section, without even giving her a chance. The midwife luckily told the doctor they were going to wait and see, and her baby did end up turning on his own, but I can’t believe what a knee jerk reaction a c-section is sometimes. Heather had only been to 2 or 3 births in the hospital where posterior babies were born vaginally. We had a home birth because we felt safer and more comfortable in our own home, with our own germs, than in a hospital, and I definitely feel that was safer than surgery would have been.

Related posts:

1. Hospital Birth
2. She’s here!