It was a simple thing. Meredith wanted to make popsicles. I was doing dishes while trying to juggle a tired baby, and was a bit crabby myself. I pointed out that we don’t have juice, so we couldn’t make popsicles. “But Mama, look, we have milk,” she pointed out, using her three-year-old logic and taking out the carton of almond milk. “You can’t make popsicles with milk,” I told her. I kind of wished she would just drop it. Couldn’t she see I was busy?
“Why Mama?” She’s in that phase, where she asks why of everything. “Because, it’s just not done,” I replied. “But why is it not done, Mama?”
She had me stumped. Part of me just wanted to tell her “because” again and try and change the subject. But then I paused, and wondered. Why isn’t it done? Does milk not freeze well? Or do most people just not like frozen milk? Then I looked at my little girl, holding the carton of almond milk and our popsicle kit, and realized that I didn’t want her to accept “just because,” not really. I don’t want her to ever think it’s not okay to ask why, or why not. I don’t want her to go along with things just because that’s what everyone else does. I want her to take initiative, to try things for herself, to be curious and explore and wonder. I don’t want her to ever feel that her questions are inconvenient, or annoying, or silly.
After all, I wouldn’t be the parent I am today if I was afraid to question the norm. Why do people leave babies alone to cry? Why do we use cribs at all? Why keep babies strapped in car seats (outside of the car) and in strollers instead of carried close to their parents? What if I chose to believe that it’s okay, because everyone else does it that way, because it’s just the way things are done. How would the world ever change, if no one was willing to stand up to the norm and question it?
It was such a simple thing. And yet, it wasn’t. So I put down the dish I was washing, and answered her honestly. “I don’t know, Meredith. I don’t know why people don’t make milk popsicles. Why don’t we try one and find out?” And so we did. It took less than a minute of my time to fill up one of the popsicle molds and stick it in the freezer for her. A few hours later, we pulled it out for her to try. Her verdict? “Mmm, good Mama! I like milk popsicles.”
She ate the whole thing. And now there are more in our freezer. She’s discovered a new yummy (and relatively healthy) treat.
I hope she never outgrows this phase, and never loses the desire to discover the “why”’s of the world for herself. I love seeing the world through the eyes of a child. Many of my preconceived thoughts end up flying right out the window, never to be seen again. I don’t miss them.
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Ice cream is frozen milk!
My kids like to experiment with some combinations that I find disgusting, but they do it and usually like it. I am really trying not to let my food issue influence them.
By the way we have a lot of dairy free friends (and gluten free) and they just shared a coconut milk ice cream recipe. It was 2 cans coconut milk, 2/3 cups cocoa powder, 6 tablespoons agave nectar, and 1 teaspoon vanilla.
I haven’t tried it yet, but I think I will with maple syrup instead of agave nectar. They make it in an ice cream maker, or you can free all but 1/2 cup of the coconut milk and then make it in a vitamix.
I remember when my brother was little he used to make the most grotesque sandwiches; everything and anything you can imagine (including chocolate syrup mixed with mustard and meat and pickles.) He loved them. And I used to take croutons, pour them in a cup and add salad dressing, mix it up. YUM. (Doesn’t sound so yummy to me now.) But the point is, when allowed to make our own choices we will find things that we enjoy to eat, even if it seems unconventional. Frozen milk seems perfectly “normal” to me- perhaps I’d add chocolate though.
And thank you for talking a bit about the “why” phase. It is a struggle for me everyday and your words have lightened my heart and given me a fresh perspective.
Much love, xoxox
See, and there’s the problem. It never occurred to me that ice cream is frozen milk! I just thought back to when I was a kid and the milkman would deliver milk early in the morning, and on cold days it would be frozen before we brought it in. Hours later there would still be chunks of frozen ice in it and none of us enjoyed it. Shows how a simple change of perspective can make a big difference! She likes a lot of strange things: hot dog buns with ketchup and mayo (but no hot dog) and hot dogs with peanut butter are her two big ones right now. And those never bothered me. Usually I’m pretty open about letting her experiment and try different combinations. But for some reason the thought of purposely freezing milk just threw me off ha!
Jen, I’m going to try that recipe, it sounds good. I would use honey or maple syrup too.
Debbie, maybe if she asks again I’ll suggest adding some cocoa powder to it.
I’m glad you found my post helpful. I actually love this why phase. It is so neat to watch how her mind works and answer her questions and often it really makes me think. But it can certainly be tiring and/or frustrating at times too. Those days, it’s usually me that’s the problem though: I haven’t eaten or slept enough generally.
I love the way this post is written – really beautiful Linds
Miss you guys!
I love this! I often need to remind myself of the same thing. I don’t want my girls to ever stop questioning the norm- even when I’m busy. And coconut milk popsicles are a favorite here!
Great post! I’ve had that moment… the one where I am busy and get annoyed at my toddler’s never ending questions. I then take a step back & remind myself that his questioning (EVERYTHING) is part of what makes him so special. We should all be so lucky to as see the world through a child’s eyes again.